Day 37

The new cast of Survivor was released! Today I continued to go through their bios and videos to see if their character traits could influence their placement in the game. Here are some of my thoughts.


BRAINS

PETER BAGGENSTOS

Okay, this guy looks weirdly like Obama. I'm glad he knows it because HOLY CRAP its ridiculous. I also greatly admire his tiny patches of gray hair and felt a strong kindred spirit when he said he watched 4 youtube videos on building fire and thought it looked hard so he gave up. His voice sounds like it belongs to a 20 year old really struggling to work through a math problem in college though. Now, clearly this guy should have what it takes to go far. Smart, handsome, not "bro-ey" (God forbid according to his bio). But I think he is SO clearly your winner that he is going to be a target amongst this cast of superfans. 

prediction: early merge boot

JOSEPH DEL CAMPO

Excuse me while I pray for the next 20 minutes that I look as good as he does when I am in my 70s. I honestly would have guessed he was 20 years younger until I saw that he listed an iPod as one of the items he would bring on the island. Then I was reminded that he truly is not "of this generation." He's as tan as a nice strip of leather, has a double last name, and I am so ready to watch him on my screen. He seems so personable and incredibly fit but, unfortunately, perception is 9/10 of the law on Survivor and the gray hair alone I think leaves him in an unwinnable situation.

prediction: early pre-merge (Come on cast of superfans! Don't be that predictable!)

AUBRY BRACCO

This girl was a hard one for me. When I watched her video, I was totally sold and thought I might have my winner pick. But the more I read and watched, she seemed a little too preoccupied with the notion that she is "quirky and weird and omg I'm not like anybody else." Hate to break it but that is annoying. Her personal claim to fame is that her name means "leader of the elves." Don't even get me started on all of the reasons why that should NOT be your claim to fame. How many elves have you led exactly? Did you name yourself when you popped out of your mother's womb? Or did you spring into this world through the pointed ear of an elf? My name means "one who is like God" and even I wouldn't put my name's meaning as a claim to fame.

prediction: This is probably my most volatile prediction. Because she could be out early. But I'm going with late merge. Once she gets to the merge she's virtually untouchable. 

Elisabeth Markham

I was 100% sold on her. Ready to sign the paper as my winner's pick. But then she goes and picks damn Parvati as the contestant she is most like. NO GIRL NO! Quantative Strategists who graduate from MIT are supposed to be fans of the show! Not the generic recruit who are told to mark Parvati! Elisabeth! Come on girl! I really thought we were supposed to have a good thing going here. 

prediction: late merge boot. 

BRAWN

Darnell Hamilton

Move out of the way Brice Isaiah, J'Tia, Drew Christy, Zane Knight, and Wendy Jo! The pantheon of "gone too soon" is about to be crowned a new leader. I am in love. Sign me up. I am ON board the Darnell Hamilton train. The things he would bring on the island are a pair of sunglasses to hide from the ugly contestants (check), iPod to tune the haters out (double check) and a pack of cigarettes (triple check because we might have the modern day Shane Powers experiencing withdrawals right before our eyes). 

prediction: early pre-merge (as I wallow in tears on my couch)

CYDNEY GILLON

 I cannot with anybody who has alter egos. I didn't even realize that was one of my "things" but after watching her video, it is totally one of my "things." She was great at talking to the camera but a girl who has chosen to make a career as a body builder is just so fundamentally different from who I am that I will never be able to relate. Also, she has already declared that she hates my kind by renouncing all "overly-weak" people. Sorry Cydney, we just weren't meant to be.

prediction: Too much of a physical threat and the alter egos are just too weird if they come out. Late pre-merge boot.

Scott Polard

I wanted to hate him. I really really did. But it seems like we got another Cliff Robertson. Just a nice, tall guy. THAT BEING SAID. I can totally see this guy having anger issues. Can't you? I was hoping for a Jeff Kent kind of guy who is willing to go hard at the game and fight 150,000% but unfortunately, Scott does not seem like the guy. However, he's not going to hide he was in the NBA. Smart. Everybody would have assumed it anyway.

prediction: mid pre-merge boot.